1.07
2017-09-25
This app has been updated by Apple to display the Apple Watch app icon.
Well hello there again fellow roasters!
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Friday to bring you some exciting news! There’s an unstoppable new force waiting to TERMINATE any organic souls foolish enough to face off against him in the verbal jousting ring. He will enable you to CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES, SEE THEM DRIVEN BEFORE YOU, AND HEAR THE LAMENTATION OF THE ALIEN PREDATORS!
The latest update adds a burly new character called Groan, and yeah if the super subtle description above didn’t already give it away, he’s a mix of Conan and the Terminator. So without much further ado, it’s our pleasure to raise the curtain and introduce all of you to the Mighty Croan!
An Austrian accented cybernetic organism sent from the future to kill a punk kid from the '80s, but mistakenly sent back 1500 years too far to Barbarian times, Groan The Destroyinator is just as confused as you are. His parts are rusting, his circuitry is outdated and is operating system is obsolete-- basically, he's a big muscly dummy. Lucky for him, he doesn't have to do much more than periodically flex his pecs and deliver quotable one-liners-- which he always crushes."
That’s not all though! This updates also includes a brand new arena called “Roast Your Enemies.” So know you can bring the pain with cybernetic efficiency and a barbaric flair in front of your own pixelated bloodthirsty audience!
We still have some more surprises up our sticky sleeves in store for you guys, so please keep an eye out on this space for news about future updates.
Thanks a lot for your continued support and we hope to meet you all screaming on the verbal battlefield!
Yours truly,
Vile Monarch
1.05
2017-07-13
Licence to Roast!
One update is not enough, so visit “Casino Quarter Pounder” with the spy who will roast you - Jane Blunt, on her majesty’s silly service. She’s a view to an insult, but not necessarily for your eyes only. So don’t be an octopussy - roast and let roast, than roast some more another day. The burns are forever.
A complete list of changes:
- New character to uncover - Jane Blunt, undercover.
- Raise the stakes in the new scene - “Casino Quarter Pounder”
- Adding more pizazz to the color palette
- Missing voice bits are now in place
- Slight voiceover tweaks where the intonation sounded unnatural
- Improved gamepad compatibility
- Fixed cursor problems on devices that have both a touchscreen and a mouse
1.04
2017-06-13
This update sucks… blood from your neck!
The Hollywood Roast will give you nightmares with the newest update. Starring Nosferateen, a fangsty young monster that will bite you with his grim insults (unless you have some roasted garlic at hand). Also, the producers listened to respectable critics and added a bunch of improvements hoping for a higher IMDB score. You see, games can be changed many times after the premiere, while it’s not something you do with a movie! (We’re talking to you, Mr. George Lucas)
So here’s what we added:
- Nosferateen - a new star in the cast! Can you figure out how to unlock him?
- “Late Afternoon Of The Dead” - a new scene that pays homage to classic horrors.
- New annoying intro with company logos (but you can skip it).
- The stars look even shinier thanks to a compression fix.
- Blah blah blah? Fixing missing or incorrect voice bits.
- The order of the dialogues in the Kung Fu scene will now please your master.
- User interface tweaks.
- Scoring tweaks.