Before I started playing Giraffe, I was in a dark place. I was friendless, fat, ugly, and women hated me. The very second the game finished downloading though, I immediately noticed a change. I started becoming taller, thinner, more handsome, more muscular, and women started flocking to me. I became a Gigachad Sigma male in every sense of the word, all thanks to this game. I’m now giraffe level twenty seven morbillion, and I feel that I have transcended the astral plane of humanity, and become something greater. I am not human. I am not God. I am Giraffe