I downloaded this game last week thinking it’d be a fun time killer during the elevator ride to my office on the 44th floor of the Goldman Sachs downtown office.
By that night, I realized that the FDA should stop wasting its time tracking narcotics. This game is more addicting than 120 kilos of straight black tar heroin.
I soon found that every waking moment of my day was consumed by Traffic Trouble.
On day 2, I was released from my Fixed Income Securities Real Estate Investment Banking job.
On day 3, my wife left me. I hardly noticed as I earned a new high score after 13 hours of straight gameplay.
By day 5, I decided that sleep, food, and water were irrelevant on my quest to get the world record score and claim the $250 prize.
Now day 7, I am being evicted from my house and transported to a padded cell in the county institution. I played Traffic Trouble as they escorted me out of my 3 bedroom penthouse in handcuffs.
My only regret is that I have but one life to give to Traffic Trouble and my pursuit of the $250 prize.